May 18, 1987
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I've been at 6.30 to Holy Communion as Jesus asked me. In the middle of it Jesus started talking to me. I received the Bread and in my mouth it felt like a lacerated piece of flesh which had been ripped off from scourging. Funny how I felt it yesterday different; and today different. It seemed like Jesus was giving me different impressions. Jesus? I am. love Me, come close to Me, I will give you different impressions every time you receive Me; Vassula I grieve when you are distant to Me. Its true, sometimes when 'the wave' of doubt covers me I refuse to talk to Him or see Him, saying to myself that it's not Him, and I avoid His image, avoid talking with Him, avoid all what He's taught me. I'm trying to convince myself that my imagination played tricks. you are grieving Me beloved, you are offending Me when you seem so far from Me, I fear, I fear for you when I see you wandering away, I will not wait, I will rush to you and fetch you, I will draw you closer to Me Jesus? I am. why all these graces for me? why? let Me free to give to whom I please but I don't want to be different from others! Vassula you will be receiving Me, let Me use you. have I not told you that I will liberate you? I don't understand. I wish to liberate many souls from their chains, chains of evil, I am using you as an instrument. do not misunderstand My Works, My appeal is not for you only, My appeal of Peace and Love is for all humanity! Yes Lord, but I feel a bit uncomfortable when friends knowing about this I mean I feel uncomfortable when some of them look and say; you are privileged. I feel awful feel awful daughter for being chosen because of your wretchedness, I have not chosen you because of your merits, I have told you already before, that your merits are none and what comes out of the Lord's mouth is but the Truth. come often and repent to Me I know Jesus, I know thats why I feel embarrassed for You giving me this grace, to call You any time I wish.
Jesus? I am, beloved, I don't know what to say. say that you love Me, I love You and You know it. I love you, daughter, yes, in spite of your wretchedness Yes Jesus. I feel that my presence offends You. And I know I'm repeating myself. How can you stand me ... I love you. I love You too. feel Me, look into My eyes, 1 1 I looked at Him; His Eyes were grave but FULL of love ... |
when you block Me out and seem so far away, understand that the devil is behind all this, he is desperate and wants you to believe that you are only imagining all the graces I have given you, he wants you to forget all My Heavenly teachings