I am learning what God means by surrendering completely. Being detached. leave everything and follow Him. His Words are symbolic, they are not material. Surrender, I have by loving Him first and beyond everything else and the feeling I would like Him to use me. Being detached, yes, to the extent of being detached from my body, meaning that I realize I have a soul that wants, desires to detach itself from the body to join Him, and follow Him only. - Suffer; yes suffering because of not being with Him of being still material on earth, of having the feeling of being a widow here. Suffer; to know that I have to follow daily life, material life, it is indeed a burden to be rubbed constantly with a balm of Technology and Science, with disbelievers, with sceptics, with people who think you are loosing foot because of age. Suffer, to have to follow their programs. Suffer to enclose one's feeling when I only feel I want dissociate from the world and be alone, with God, just He and me and no one else and nothing else around me to distract me.

Even this that I wrote I asked God to help me write down my feelings, since I am unable to express myself, and so He did, whispering the right words in My ear!

He wants me to be among mankind; one more cross to carry. My body aches.

I bless You, my beloved God.

Later:

Still feeling dissolved in God.

I love you My God ...